Why should I go to a therapist rather than talk to a friend or family member?

You have to worry about reciprocating - If they help you, you may feel obligated to help them when they need you. If you don’t/can't follow through, this may cause strain in the relationship in the future.

It’s biased - The great thing about friends/family is that they will always be there to lift you up when you are down. They can tell you what they think you may want to hear to make you feel better, which can be a problem in certain instances. This doesn’t change the problem, it puts a Band-Aid on it. They may even try to protect you by avoiding telling you the truth because they are afraid of hurting you. 

Friends/family try to solve your problem - The downside to this is that sometimes the real problem doesn’t get addressed. For example, you are failing school and you are worried about your parent’s reaction. Your friend may take you out to cheer you up, while a therapist would help identify the reasoning behind your failing and work on solutions to change the underlying issue. The underlying issues need to be addressed to fix the superficial issue. 

You could ruin the relationship with a friend or family member - A friend may feel overwhelmed themself and not be emotionally available to help you. However, they are your friend, so they are there for you. In turn, this may cause a friend to become distant in order to avoid helping you with your issues. A family member may share your issue with another family member trying to get a resolution, but instead causing a fight between you and the family member because they shared your private problem. 

Therapists have training - A therapist has spent at minimum 6 years in school being trained to help others with their problems. While friends or family members may provide support and a temporary resolution, a therapist will work with you to determine the root cause of your problem, process and explore your thoughts and feelings, and work with you to identify coping strategies, behavioral changes, and help you to create a lasting resolution.  

You get to schedule an appointment to focus solely on you - You will have a set appointment each week of uninterrupted time to meet with your therapist to address your concerns.  When spending time with family or friends, it tends to be more of a “give and take” conversation, with both sides sharing things.  For example, you are telling a story to a friend/ family member and they interrupt to say, “I know what you mean” and then proceed to take over the conversation with their experience?  This will not happen in therapy. Your appointment is all about you.

Therapists enforce boundaries & confidentiality - One of the benefits of therapy is that boundaries are set in place in which a therapy session is focused solely on the client and their needs. Additionally, you do not have to worry if your innermost thoughts are going to be shared with other people as a friend or family member could accidentally do. Therapists are legally and ethically obligated to keep client information confidential through the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA). Because of this, everything you say in your therapy sessions remains confidential. However, there are exceptions to this policy (see above). You don’t have to worry about what you share getting back to your partner, your parents, your sister, your boss, etc. because therapists are required to maintain confidentiality. Confiding in a friend or family member can be risky as they are not held to the standards a licensed therapist is. When talking with friends or family, you can’t always guarantee that confidentiality.

Therapists are objective - Therapists are looking at your concern from an outside lens.  Therapists are not biased and do not have a preconceived notion of you.  Family and friends are unable to be objective, due to the personal relationship they have with you.  They may not be honest for fear of hurting your feelings or might be overly critical, such as saying “there you go again” or “I told you so.”

Therapists are non-judgmental – A therapist does not judge someone for what they are going through or the choices they might make in life. Therapists do not act as your parent and they are not there to tell you the mistakes you are making. They are there to support and help you through tough situations without criticism.